Anguished

Dear readers, have you ever feel uncool about yourself? Being yourself? Do you think that your actions are childish and unbearable? Or have you wondered why can't you have a little of what others have?

I don't know why but I get irritated with myself quite often recently. I am unhappy with myself...

for being so old and haggard before/during/after work,
for getting jealous easily,
for being greedy and selfish,
for having such childish mindset
for having this big tummy,
for my poor communication skill with others,
for expressing what I want to express,
for being so rude to my parents,
for thinking too much,

YES thinking too much, a.k.a TTM is the real "IN" thing nowadays. "EMO" is no longer popular like what it used to be. Am I trying too hard to be a perfectionist? Or am I too sensitive? But maybe I am right, I am really irritating and awful.

I no longer think going to work is a little fun. And I don't like to hear friends talk about work. Zhao made a good point, we came out together to enjoy and have a break from work, not to get ourselves more engrossed into it. I mean that's me, where is the life everyone?

I took a break from work today, to see a chinese physician regarding my knee (I hurt it while ice-skating weeks ago). I always sprained my ankle and stuff but never dare to step into the physician, but as time goes by, I heard stories about the after effects of it and got scare. I don't want to have problems with my legs when I am old my dear. I overcomed my courage, although it's painful and I was sweating like a pig, I know it's good for me.

Then at night I went to see a doctor regarding my cough. For your information, it's been ongoing for about three weeks now and I haven't recover. It was an normal clinic at AMK neighbourhood and it cost me a freaking S$40!!! Man I am just having cough, not going for body check-u or have chicken pox and I have to pay S$40!

Adding on to S$30 for the chinese physician earlier, I spent a total of S$70 today just on minor sickness. S$70 is my 3 and a half day of pay at work, more than half of a week's pay that is! Where is my dream of buying a watch and perfume after I get my pay end of this month???

Random pictures taken this week-

Went to MOVIDA earlier this week to catch a gig by Colbie Caillat who was in town to promote her first album, COCO. I am impressed by her vocal and I feel that her style and voice have some resemblance of our local Tanya Chua.

Marvin Sexy Butt is very good at sweet talking and I am always a victim of falling into his trap. In a midst of anger, I ended up treating him and Zhao dinner at a posh restaurant that day! He always bully Dino during work, bad boy indeed! 但男人不坏，女人不爱.

Look at him, I am of 50% shareholder of him.

My Kor Kor so old yet so young!